Today, for the first time in recent memory, as I stepped into the throwing circle I decided not to think about my legs, hands, head, or any other body part; essentially, nothing at all. No effort, no inner monologue – this was a throw for feeling. As I drew the hammer over my head, the beginning and end of any conscious effort could be found in my slow, relaxed winds, but as I entered my first turn through the circle, anything and everything else in the world was lost. The only two things in existence were myself and the 16-pound ball, which was already beginning to feel weightless. I felt the rhythm and the weight of the ball through my four turns, and with nonexistent effort I produced a pretty damn good throw. Thing stayed up there a minute or two before it came down. But how? Why was this my best throw of the day, when I wasn't even focusing on the plethora of technical problems I have?
There is an aspect of everything that can be difficult to maintain, and it is the act of executing without thought. I find it recurring in my life with everything I do, though in many scenarios there isn't much challenge at all. But rest assured, the problem can present itself anywhere, and chances are quite good that at some point it will.
Take, for example, the act of watching TV. Not a complicated task you might think, and you are right; little in life takes less effort than watching the boob tube. But sometimes, and I am sure this affects everyone (not just ADD lepers like myself), after forgetting that we are watching something to begin with, we come briefly back to reality and inadvertently think. It could be something in real life that interrupts the flow of TV watching – perhaps dinner is ready or your dog won't stop barking – or, and this is a less common cause considering the simplicity of the leisure, we might realize that we are, in fact, watching TV, and this in itself causes a distraction (if only for a brief, brief period). It is a stupid example, really, but illustrates the fact that disruption by “conscious thinking” can occur in even the most mindless tasks.
Of course, we never had to learn how to watch TV, else we might lose track of the feeling more often. Throwing, in this context, is better compared with the playing of an instrument. Obviously our initial couple years with an instrument can and probably will make us look like fools. But you have to start somewhere. And no matter the motivation to pick it up, sooner or later, given ample effort, you will probably reach a comfortable level and find yourself “getting lost” in your music, and playing for no one else but yourself, for no other purpose than to enjoy yourself, and with only the movements that have become instinctual to your body and hands. You'll find yourself staring at an oven or a hole in the wall, without realizing it because your mind is so far dug into the feeling of playing that other perceptions become utterly auxiliary. Your mind becomes the music, and there is nothing else in the world.
But we can always be taken out of this state, and sometimes all it takes is the mere recognition that we are doing something at all. Maybe you've been jamming on your guitar nonstop for the last half hour, and maybe it's great stuff, but as soon as your mind wanders over to your hand on the fretboard, it all falls apart. The simple act of thinking about what we are doing can destroy everything, and in the worst cases, we never get the feeling back.
Such is throwing. Throwing the hammer in practice is a lot like going to guitar practice; you've got to work hard and focus on what you are doing, but you need to be able to lose yourself in the act every once in a while if you ever expect to find a natural groove. Competing and performing are much different. You've practiced for years, you know the motions, and now it's time to put on a show. Don't think about your technique. Feel every moment and every ounce of weight in your hands, but allow them to become weightless. Never let your mind in; the best always comes with an empty head.
Lose yourself in the throw.
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